14 Funniest Craigslist Ads

You probably think of Craigslist as a convenient place to sell a dresser or futon that you no more want. Operating theater perchance you see it as a expedient place to peruse when you'Ra looking jobs or roommates. But the free classified site is much more than that: It's also a origin of unmingled comedy–if you lurch crossways i of these ads, that is.

All of the customary Craigslist topics come up in these unbelievable ads: dating, pets, scrap gross sales, free items, uncomprehensible connections. But instead of existence simple and straightforward, these ads are overdone or bent.

Have's commence with pets.

Offshore-Monkeys: The Pets That Aren't Pets

"Please rescue my son's Oversea Monkeys." And so begins incomparable woman's impassioned plea for mortal to save her son's critters. Their owners are moving, you understand, and she has no idea how to transport them. But don't try to tell her how to move them, because, as she says, "I don't worry." She sportsmanlike wants them off of her hands–equally prolonged as you don't flow them to your fish.

And she has one last bespeak: "Please do nobelium flag and tell me this belongs in Pets. Seriously–they'atomic number 75 Sea Monkeys. Come on."

Am I the only one who thinks the Sea-Monkeys concluded up in the sewer?

Cleaning Leading the Neighbourhood

At first sight, this ad, posted in the Garage & Stimulating Sales part of Houston's Craigslist, reads like your average notice. "Everything is free and must go immediately!!" It goes on to leaning what's available: antiques, automobile parts, beds, books, cell phones, computers, furniture, and much. The A.D. true states that all of the items are "already at the curb for convenient lading!!"

There's really nothing too humorous all but it. Until you learn the powdery print: "Note from the user who submitted this ad: My neighbor continues to illegally dump garbage in her front yard. So I made a craigslist ad for other hoarders to come take the gormandise by." Way to tidy the region!

Via: FunniestCraigslistAds.com

Best Free Lug Communicative Didn't Work

Reverse psychology seems to be in play in this freebie ad:

Via: Craigslol.com

A Incomprehensible Tip

People often wont the uncomprehensible connections posts on Craigslist to read things they don't have the nerve to say in person. Like, "hey, I call up you're cute." Or, "I should have given you my number when I had the happen." Or smooth, "You're rude and arrogant and a bad dump truck."

That about sums risen what one pizza legal transfer guy had to say to indefinite of his customers, the "five-year-old lady that lives in a gorgeous internal on Eagle River Touring shortly from Wal-Mart." But he says information technology with so much elegance (atomic number 2 begins by saying "It was cold, information technology was gloomful, the roadstead were a little icy. I don't inculpation you for order a pizza for legal transfer tonight. Nice choice. ") that his 761-word post reads Sir Thomas More like a short story

If the woman who stiffed him on his tip ever happened upon his post, she'd likely feel pretty darn foolish. And I dare say she wouldn't take him up on his offer to return the penny he still owes her.

Here's a New Twist happening Getting the Bills Paid

Can't wait for your children to produce some endearing little grandchildren? Don't delay some longer: Head to Craigslist instead. That's where you buttocks buy the rights to grandparent this lovable nine-twelvemonth-old girl. You'll get the promise of hand-crafted presents, trips to the subroutine library "where she will ignore you to read her favorite books," an invite to her natal day party, and Thomas More.

The catch? You simply have to pay up her tutorship at the private educate she'd like to attend. At $23,500 for the academic year, information technology's a regular bargain. Wouldn't you agree?

Via: FunniestCraigslistAds.com

In Desperate Need of Motivation

This ad is deficient and to the point:

"I want to puzzle out of the house and workout everyday. I need help motivating my body to walk around out the room access. I want individual to descend ring the doorbell and tell me to get out of the house to go for a run, hike, kayak or such.

"It should single take a week of this to get Maine motivated enough to go on my own."

Countenance's be serious, though: if you call for this much service getting impelled, do you really think a week is departure to live decent?

(By the way, if you'rhenium interested in the job, it pays $8 an hour, one hour per day.)

Or Maybe It's Just a Piece of Junk?

This fair sex really wants to abolish her toaster. Her reason is completely seamless: The device burns her goner. But wherefore does it burn her toast? Because it's haunted, of course. Her husband inherited it from a at peace Friend and she thinks "his friend decided to give ear around." And burn her toast. Because what else would a dead person privation to brawl?

Somehow, I Don River't want any toast now.

Future: Outstanding Room for Rent, That Frame Is Too Shucks Big, Hippy Housecleaner, and more than.

How to Make Your Ad Stand Out

Wealthy person a room to rent? You could post your middling, ordinary ad on Craigslist, itemization the price and the basics. Or you could make it really jump, corresponding this AD, titled "$500 HOLY CRAP! IS THAT A ROOM FOR RENT ON MY CRAIGSLIST??!?!?!?"

"Do you need to be homeless? So you better come check this room for rent out. Information technology has WALLS and a Cap." That's not all: IT has carpeting, too. As the poster writes, "I don't want my feet to be cold when I leave of bed at night. Carpet. Thus soft. Transcends the walking barefoot experience."

The ad comes complete with a photo of "your terrible ass new roommate." Merely you might spirit like you already know him later on reading his ad.

(Via The Consumerist)

Merry Maids, He Ain't

Looking for some help guardianship your house neat and clean? Hire the hippy housecleaner. "Like well-nig flower people, I spend my time being totally ironic and getting earnestly awesome," he writes. Just as helium recently lost his job, this hippy is looking at for a weensy extra income. "Patc you're at work you can think of how badass I'm being at your house. You can ease smooth with the fact that a odoriferous dude in skinny jeans is whole taking out the food waste and cleanup your toilet."

And should you harbor any doubts about whether a hipster housecleaner will actually clean house, put your creative thinker at ease. His services earned spout reviews.

Directly That's a Headline

A great headline can throw or break an clause connected a site equivalent PCWorld. I'm willing to bet that a cracking newspaper headline can also make or bump off a sale happening Craigslist. Consume this ad, for example. His headline–"Either I breastfeed at golf game or thither is something wrong with these clubs – $75″–just draws you in, doesn't it? Information technology May even induce enticed someone to pay full selling price for an overage coif of golf clubs and "a suitcase with about junk in IT."

Fishy Beaver State Creepy?

I'll leave you to make your own judgment after reading this ad: "i need someone to hide easterly eggs in my disposed when i am non there ! they are small and filled with candy ! i would like to find them myself on sunday ! i am fain to wage ! serious inquiries only !"

Honestly, I don't want to know how this turned forbidden.

Putting the A– in Category

Well, first, this man is looking to hire a wingwoman–to help him meet other women. Then, helium feels it necessary to explain what a wingwoman is. (Information technology's "a adult female who goes into a elite situation with the aim of helping the guy or guys she is with play women.")

But what really gets ME active this ad is the fact that atomic number 2 describes himself Eastern Samoa a "classy professional." Because nothing says classy same having to hire women to make other women suppose that women like you. Be still my trouncing heart!

Who Hasn't Bought a Couch on Craigslist?

Anyone? Well, if you still need a couch, would you go for this ad, which offers a free sofa "if you can bend clock and/operating theater quad."

The Joseph Lister explains: "Soh wherefore am I listing in for free? Because I am beautiful trusty information technology is physically unachievable to remove this affair from my instant story bedroom down the narrow hall, down the narrower staircase and tabu the breast door of my little Age duplex. How did we get it up here in the first post? Magic… well, it did involve taking several doors off the hinges, 4 people, and about 3 1/2 hours of cursing the gods. However, I don't feel like doing IT all once again, and I'm non about to hold a stranger (no offense) taking apart my house for a deal on a lounge."

There's always a catch, right?

Via Ill Craigslist Ads

Army of the Pure's Trust Her Conserve Doesn't Read Craigslist

Even if this advertizing isn't for real, well, I'm not foreordained that makes IT any advisable. It's from a woman WHO is "superficial for a light skinned man to get me pregnant this orgasm weekend surgery early next workweek. You will need light brown light-haired operating room red hair. My husband and I suffer been trying to get pregnant for months now and my sophisticate says I'm superfine and so it must be him–it would kill him not to have kids."

Would you really want the rather person World Health Organization answers that kindly of ad to Father your children? Yikes.

[You may besides be interested in "10 Craigslist Tips for Major power Users."]

Seen a good Craigslist ad lately? We'd love to register it. Let America know in the Comments below.